Monday, December 5, 2016

Healthy Mind #randompost

Hey hey. It's me again. Finally after a longgggg time, I'm back to this blog. I wrote my last post back in February and now it's December already. Time flies (why I always write this on my every post?). Anyway, I had the thought to delete this blog sooo many times. I thought the content of this blog were so how to say.. trashy? I kept pouring all my feelings on my recent posts. BUT when I think about it again, those were the phases that I went through. Those were the story of how I become the way I am now. I don't want to feel ashamed about it. In the end, I decide to keep this blog. I admit that my reasons for starting this blog were so wrong. And now, I don't want to consider about those reasons anymore. I don't want to think about how many views that I will get, the followers that will follow this blog, whether I will become a famous blogger or if I'm gonna get the perks of being a blogger any time soon, ANYMORE. I just want to have a fresh start with a good reason which is to inspire people. It's not that I want to be an influencer, motivator or whatsoever. And I'm not sure how I will do this or whether I am able to this or not. What I do know now is I just want to keep writing :)

My last post was soooo gloomy. When I read all the post that I had wrote, I realized I was so unstable back then. I don't know why. Maybe because I had to much free time. I spent it unwisely and so unproductive. I sort of became an antisocial. One of my classmates once said "what do you usually do after the class? I rarely see you outside. It feels like you're vanished after the class." That how antisocial I was. I usually spent my time back then by watching movies, read manga and surfed the internet. Basically just spent the rest of my time in my room. Even if I ever went outside, it was just to buy some food. It was fun but if you keep doing all those things all day, you will feel bored, unhealthy because you sit all the time and it's just doesn't feel good anymore. I am so grateful still have my sister by my side. We go to the same university, we live in same room. That was the reason why my mind still sane back then because I still have social life with my sister.

I am a thinker. When I do nothing, I usually spend my time thinking about my life and stuffs. Due to my unproductive times back then, negative thoughts kept coming inside my mind and that's so unhealthy. So I changed the way I live. During my summer holiday, luckily, I found a job as a English teacher that requires me to interact with other people. I still doing that job till now. Even though it's a bit hard to manage my time among my school, work and club; Especially if the club that I join has an event (like now), the time are all clashing. It makes me have to really think about the decision that I have to make to manage those times But I am happy with myself now. My mind becomes healthy and positive. I never think about negative thoughts again since then, or questioned myself about my relationship anymore. I once asked my BF whether he likes me busy like this or he likes me when I have many free times. He said he likes me busy because he doesn't have to deal with all my questions about our relationship and all my negativity. These busyness doesn't give my mind a break to think about unimportant stuffs because I have to think about school, assignments, what and how should I teach the next class, when do I have time to relax (haha). Even if it has, it's the time for my mind to relax and enjoy its free time. Now I fill my free time with my friends, had sleepover for the first time in my life during my third year of university, eat together with them, become close and share our feelings together. I feel so blessed with my life right now. I am so grateful that I found that job, still keep doing it because hey I get a new experience and learn so many things from it .

That's my story of how I have my healthy mind. Whoever read this post, I hope that this post can make you more productive and spend your time wisely. You can't go back to those times that already flew behind you (except if someday those scientists successfully invent a time machine). Don't just regret the bad things that you had done. You have to keep moving forward, become a better person, and believe that tomorrow is a new beautiful day for you. Productive life makes your mind healthy. Have a nice day :)


Saturday, February 13, 2016

Blue Valentine

I am sad. I thought I was okay but I am not. Even the sky feels so gloomy today. I wonder if they know what I feel now.

I know that today should be a happy day where people spend this special day with someone they love; family, lover, friends. But today, I can't spend it with them. All my friends are working today. The worst part is my parents departed from Ningbo this morning to another city, then they go back home. I didn't feel sad when we separated at the station. I thought I was okay, because the last time my mom went back, I cried secretly on the subway. I still feel okay when I ate at downtown. But all that changed when I entered my apartment building and the lift. I entered it by myself. It felt so lonely. I am used with the many people this past few weeks and suddenly it's all by myself. The part that break my heart is when I entered my room. It felt so empty. I cried I cried and I cried. I didn't even want to look at my room. The wall hanger used to filled with their clothes. My desk used to be messy with all of their stuff. I used to hate that because too much things around in such a small room. But now, I miss them. How can I be such an ignorant and not thankful when they were around? I wonder if they had wonderful and memorable times during their visit.

It is the 3rd times I cried because I was left by the people that I love. Now I know that I don't want to be left by the people I love. It will make me sad. But I don't feel that way when I leave them. Am I selfish??

Anyway, Happy Valentine Day guys. Sorry that I post such a gloomy post. It might sounds childish because I spill my feelings here but I just want to write my feeling right now. Hope you guys have a wonderful day.


Thursday, December 24, 2015

Share Your Love

How do you feel after you share/give something to someone? I bet you feel HAPPY and that's how I felt today. The moment when those person smile and say thank you to you is one of the happiest moment. It felt so warm in the cold rainy day like today. This makes me have the urge to write my story here. Anyway here's my story...

As you guys know, today is Christmas Eve. Yayy. But in China, they don't really celebrate it, I mean it's not a holiday in this country. Only the teenagers and young people celebrate it. I guess they like to celebrate western event, same like during the Halloween. So I still had my class today and pass it like any other other day. EXCEPT, suddenly my friend came to class (she's my classmate) and gave me a present (it's from her roommate too). It was a jar of cookies and 2 candies. Both are so delicious, especially the cookies (I just ate them). I was happy and surprised. Besides that It is my first Christmas present from a friend (as long as I remember), that was out of my.. how do I say this.. prediction. After class, we went to the market street, we call it Nongmao, I want to buy green beans and stuff, and she wanted to meet her roommate and ate. So we separated and after I shopping, suddenly I think I want give a Christmas present to them today. I went to one of the famous bakery in Nongmao and bought this tiramisu cake in a small cup with snowman shape which is very cute and I think It worth the price. I also bought them a small mango pudding jar. I directly gave those to them after I bought it. My friend thought I gave them because of what they give earlier but It's not. I told them that I originally had an intention to give them a Christmas present but they gave me first. We both said thank each other, smile, and I let them eat again (this happened in restaurant by the way) then I left. Feels like we exchange Christmas gifts.

On my way home, I met my other friend. She is my senior and she is kind too. So we say hi and she started a chat with me. Of course I walked towards her, we walked together and continue to chat. She wanted to go to the bus station and our direction is kinda in the same direction. It was raining a little and I felt terrible because I kinda felt shy and awkward to suddenly share my umbrella with her. I bet most of you might think why do I have to felt that way. Well, It's just me. I am always an awkward shy person. Suddenly the rain dropped a bit heavier and without any further thinking, I share my umbrella with her. I guess I think too much before. I walked her a little bit more until to the point where we really have to say goodbye because our direction was not the same anymore. Do you know how I felt after that? I felt sooo happy. Maybe it's because of the chit-chat effect. But anyway still, I felt happy. The fact that I can make other people happy through the small thing that I did, makes me happy too.

The point that I want to tell to you guys in here is when you share something with other people, it will makes you happy, especially if those people feel the same way too for what we do. Even if it just a small thing. What's the point of having everything in the world but you are the only one who can enjoy it. No baby you won't feel happy. You will always search that missing part in you. That's why we have to share it with other people. So.. share your love ;)

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE
~ wish you a merry Christmas Eve ~
image source : http://willowgrovemooselodge.com/

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Finding Myself

Hi guys. Long time no see. It's been a long time since my last writing. How are you guys?
A lot of things has happened since my last post. New semesters, new classes, new classmates, new teachers and now new season. Autumn has come. Rain starts to pouring down almost like everyday. Weather starts to get cold which make most of people (like me) feel lazy to go out, especially during rainy day. So I end up spending most of my time in my room. Usually I just check out Instagram, Facebook, yahoo news, etc. Pretty boring isn't it? You know, before I came to university, my imagination of how my university life gonna be was fun, like high-school musical, pitch perfect, house bunny that kind of movies. I bet most of you guys also imagine that right? BUT in fact mine was nothing like that. I know it's all depend on each person but seriously I tried. I am still part of saman tho. Currently we are just practicing normally once a week, there's just few members left and no event for us. I also tried to apply in Indonesia community in Ningbo but sadly I was rejected. There are no club fair, I don't know what it called, you know where those clubs promote their club to get new members, or maybe there were but I didn't know because of my Chinese language skill are still not so good. Somehow this post starts to become gloomy... 

Anyway, during my absent-from-blog interval, I think I started to realized few things about myself. Most of them are not the good one I think. When I talk to people, I found out that most of the time my mind likes to go blank. I can still hear them but I need to take more time to process of what they say and what should I reply to them. Maybe this is the effect of not having much daily conversation (?) Even my mom noticed it and said that looks like my mind likes to wander around. Another thing is that I am a curious person. It's not the curiosity towards people's life but more to those things that interest me. Do you familiar with the idiom "Curiosity kills the cat"? Well in my case, it's true. Now I had a bad habit resulted from my curiosity. I am now trying fix it. It's hard to fix the bad habit. I had to fight with myself not to do that. Aside from the new-not-so-good me, I also found out my own taste in fashion. Now I know my style. I like simple things so yeah I like simple-basic-effortless style. If you dig into my old post, you will find that I don't have my own authentic style. I couldn't even choose my own clothes during shopping. I just followed the trend or my mom would choose it for me. I ended up just wear them once. But now since I came here, I have to choose what clothes do I like to wear. That really help me in finding my own taste. For food, I still don't know what kind of food do I like. Nowadays I just keep thinking of Indonesia food. I am literally Indonesia-food-homesick (sounds weird --"). I like their taste that just can be found in Indonesia. Their chili, their curry, ah it makes me hungry right now. I miss Indonesia food. If you ask me more specific about what food do I like, no I can't answer that. If a person ask me what do I want to eat, I just can describe it like "I want something with soup" or "I want something that is spicy". Most of the time I will say "I don't know".

Wow I think this is the longest post that I ever write. And oh, if you notice, I did change my blog title to "Eve's Diary" and also my blog link. Simply because I want a new fresh start in this blog without having to abandon this blog. I will post mostly about my thoughts (I guess) and about the outfit post..I do wish that I could post another one again, really. I miss taking outfit pictures and post them in this blog. Hopefully I can post another one in the near future.

That's the end of this post. Enjoy your day and hope you have a nice day. Cheers!

Monday, September 7, 2015

Last Day of IFW 2015









Albert Yanuar - ALGARRY

Okay so I think that I need to separate this fashion show from others. It started like other fashion show before. Pieces by pieces walked on the runway. Then suddenly the show started to wowed people with their amazing transformations. The surprise didn't end there. I don't want to spoil any further, just take a look at the photos below. Enjoy